Resolutions

  • Manage my junk better. Seriously. It’s embarrassing. How many years are you supposed to keep pay stubs and credit card statements? Oops, I think I already blew my cover. *blush* Yes, it’s bad. And it needs to get better. Not just this year, but always, so it’s time to start making a concentrated effort. MANAGE THE JUNK!
  • Text random encouraging messages. The last two years, I felt very isolated. I was working full time, but felt like I had zero support at work. A kind word was like manna.  I have way too many names on my phone of people I care about but never get in contact with, because I’m waiting for a reason. Maybe these two things should come together: Text people those words that we all need.
  • Create more. For no good reason. I have been feeling increasingly convicted about this. I’ve been discarding it as less important than “responsible” things, but I’m beginning to suspect I have it backwards. I have a miles long list of ways I like creating things, and then I run around most of the year just trying to survive. This is wrong. My surviving should be to feed my art, not to kill it.
  • Ease up on the electronic devices. Electronic devices are like baked goods: no way in heck am I going to swear them off forever, and they can be really, really good. Sometimes. But a steady diet of them actually starts to make me feel sick. I’ve been noticing I’ve been fleeing to the glowing screen a lot when I really need a nap. Or need to reflect on the day and how I’m feeling, instead of cramming it down inside until I explode. Or I need to be creating. Or really be part of the conversation. I’m not saying swear it off forever, but my use definitely needs to be curbed. Controlled. Cut back a lil’.
  • Use the Post Office more. This is sort of like the above text-messages one. I tend to shy away from the PO, because, hello? I’m totally broke. Free seems more appealing than paying. But you know what? As a recipient, I’ve found a handwritten card–an actual object I can hold–to be more meaningful than an electronic equivalent. And who doesn’t want to come home to find something “good” in the mail? It can (sorta) redeem a bad day!
  • Read more. I used to read all the time. I like reading. Why did I stop? I just got so busy. And once I got to be a “grown-up,” it was hard to find books that were at a high enough intelligence level without it seeming as though the authors all assumed that obviously now you are just interested in sex and violence. Um, well, I still think the range of human emotion and experience is a lot broader and deeper than that. Is there any way I could get in a good, satisfying, not-too-long and not-TOO-serious book that isn’t childish and isn’t all about the boudoir?  I’ll even taken non-fiction, if it isn’t too serious (read: depressing. I do enough of that on my own). One of the best books I actually did read this year was about two upper-crust young ladies deciding they were feed up with the pansies of upper-classness, and deciding to jointly go out to the middle of nowhere (read: no indoor plumbing) and teach school. It was an awesome story. Although I pretty much skipped the first half, where their upper-classness was detailed, and skipped right to the “live life!” part.
  • Wear more interesting clothes. I love interesting clothes. I don’t wear them, though. I’m not sure why not. I wore riding boots and a wool cape to my cousin’s Christmas service, and I felt awesome. I walked like a superhero. Why shouldn’t I wear awesome clothes? Well, it does take a little more work. Because it would mean making my clothes awesome. But also because for me it takes emotional energy to be noticed, and people are going to notice if I’m awesome, probably. I will have to start by being subtly awesome until I get used to it, I guess. Ha!
  • Take more pictures of people. I’m always glad when I do, but it’s such an effort. It’s so awkward sticking a camera in someone’s face. But once I get past the initial awkwardness, I get some really good shots that are always so much more meaningful to me than even my admittedly incredible scenery/stills shots.
  • Listen to music. Music I already have, yes, but also new music. This is like book reading. Somehow it is falling by the wayside, but it shouldn’t be. And I should be hearing new music all the the time, not stuck in musical ruts. Music is important.
  • Stop trying to make money. I actually hate making money. I only do it because I feel like I’m supposed to. Anytime I start thinking about saving money or making money, it kills whatever goodness the idea had to begin with. I’m only trying to make money when I’m afraid, and when I’m desperate, and when I feel like I ought, and when I’m scheming to rule the world. None of those are particularly good motivators–I mean, they might motivate you, but they’re bad reasons.
  • Wear shorts this summer. This one will actually be very hard for me. I might not do it. It’s actually called, “Stop being so self-conscious!”, but without an actual activity, there’s no real way to work on this. I don’t know why I’m so self-conscious, but I know for the last several summers, I thought it would be great to get the sun and wind and grass on my legs. But people might make comments. Or think things. What the heck? This summer, I’m going to try to wear shorts.

Well, I think this list is done, because now I’m thinking. Over thinking means they aren’t really true goals, they’re things I think I should want.

I didn’t make this list to try to become a better person. I made this list because I think it talks about who I already am. It’s a little time capsule of December 31st, 2013. . .

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